Jill's Place
7 days worth of rants & raves

Something to think about

Wednesday, December 15, 2004
John Scalzi has some things to say about friendship today, and it got me thinking. I see things somewhat differently, I guess. Because of the web, I've increased the energy spent on friends who are also online. I have less energy for face-to-face these days. Online seems to be about the best I can do in the last year or so. I tend to communicate more online than any other way. Hell, if left to my own devices, I suppose I'd end up a hermit. I never was particularly sociable, and I find that I'm getting less so as I get older. Frankly, I don't have that many friends. Just a few, but they're good ones. Since we moved to this godforsaken little town, I've only rarely seen my friends, and have sadly lost touch with a few. Seems like time kind of gets away from me, and I suddenly realize that I haven't talked to Pat in months, and she's kind of pissed at me. Then I get a little pissy myself and realize that her phone works, and she could have called me. Then I decide not to get all blaming, time goes on, and I suddenly realize that I haven't talked to Pat in even longer. Lather, rinse, repeat. But my friends and family with whom I communicate mostly online, those relationships have strengthened (you listening, LL? You silly girl, got your package today, L will be thrilled). One of the main reasons I really started this blog was as a way to keep up with some of my friends and family who are scattered all over the place. Let's face it, I'm not really sociable, I don't like talking on the phone, and with a child, it gets harder and harder to get together. Plus I'm old and cranky. I find, these days, that I lack patience with people who don't communicate in the same ways I do. They don't use instant messaging or even e-mail that much. They have no idea what a blog is, or how to leave comments, or anything. They may not even have a computer at home. As I said, I don't really like talking on the phone, so blogging and IM'ing are my usual ways to navigate the world. It's really an entirely different worldview than some of my friends. They say "Why would I go online to read about your life when I can just talk to you?" To which I say, "Yeah, but you don't find out much that way. I don't do that chit-chat stuff well, and I'm not real likely to have lots of free time to chat, even if I could stand doing it. Why would I talk on the phone when I can 'see' them online?" Like I said, different worldviews, I guess. Hmm, just realized something. We've lived here for a year and change. I haven't made one new friend. I mean, I have some people I know from work that I'm friendly with, but I don't really see them any more since I'm not working in the same place. And they were co-workers, rather than friends, for the most part. I'm friendly with the neighbors, but I wouldn't say that we're friends. I'm friendly with a couple of other parents at L's school, but wouldn't really think of making plans with them, unless it were something for the kids. Please note that this doesn't bother me in the least, I just think it's odd. What do you think? Edited for a typo, because I am somewhat obsessive about grammar and spelling.

12/15/2004 03:06:00 PM :: ::
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