Jill's Place
7 days worth of rants & raves

Busy week

Saturday, April 23, 2005
It's been a fairly busy week around here. I had tons of dizziness and headaches for a few days, had to go to the doctor because they thought it was my blood pressure. When I was pregnant with L I ended up on bedrest at the end, due to pregnancy induced hypertension. I do not want to do that again! Fortunately, it wasn't my blood pressure, just variations in my blood sugar levels. I'm supposed to eat every couple of hours now. That's a challenge, because I'm just not that hungry. But I'm trying. Work-wise, with every day that passes, I realize that I hate my job and I desperately need to find another. However, this is not the ideal time to interview (I'll start showing soon), there's not much to apply for in the paper, the jobs that sound somewhat interesting are entry-level and I can't do that, I need to be employed for a year before I'm covered by FMLA, etc. I guess I'll have to stick it out where I'm at until October, and then hopefully find something else so I just don't have to come back from maternity leave. The concept of being a stay-at-home mom is sometimes appealing, but the reality is that I'd go fairly nuts. Plus we can't afford it. Bleah. I'm stuck. The love of my life will argue with me and tell me it's not worth it to stay in a job I hate and we'll somehow manage (and I appreciate the sentiment). But I know I'm just stuck. My car ended up in the shop, and cost waaaaaaaay too much money that we weren't expecting to spend. However, on the plus side, now the car is ready to drive for our upcoming vacation. L had to go to see a urology/nephrology/somekindofology specialist at UK yesterday, due to her frequent UTIs. I don't feel like we got any answers, though, which is disappointing. It was certainly not a fun way to spend the day, although I have to say that she was a model patient. I was far more impatient than she was. Pregnancy hormones make life . . . interesting. For someone like me, who takes a great deal of pride in remaining balanced and calm, to feel essentially out of control and barely hanging on by my fingernails is a nice lesson in humility. Sometimes it takes all I have not to just scream. Now I'm going to the library, the farmer's market to check them out, and maybe I'll find a yard sale or two. My house is still asleep, and I'm making my great escape. I'm really looking forward to next Tuesday. We have another ultrasound, and I can't wait to see the little thing again. I also need to remember to send my ex-husband a birthday card, or more likely an e-card. That's his birthday, the 26th. I probably also need to tell him we're expecting. He kind of freaked out when we had Lauren, although he was happy for us. But our lives are very different, and we stopped seeing him as much when she was born. I could probably count on one hand the number of times we've seen him since then. It was true of several of our friends who didn't have kids - it's hard to relate for some. We can't just get a call at 8:00 and come meet for a drink or a late dinner. We have to plan in advance, get a sitter, etc. It's a lot less footloose than we used to be. But you know it's worth it. It was even harder for my ex, I think, because he probably won't ever have kids, plus he expected that if he did, it would be with me. Clearly, that wasn't meant to be. Lots of emotions, I'm sure. However, I really don't have time to deal with anyone's emotions except for the people who live in my house. But it would be only fair to call him and let him know. Just not today. Happy birthday to me. Toldja it would rain today.

4/23/2005 07:45:00 AM :: ::
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