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Jill's Place
7 days worth of rants & raves

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Saturday, April 29, 2006

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Originally uploaded by jtdarby.

4/29/2006 04:14:00 PM :: 0 comments ::

Jill :: permalink


Check it out

Totally cool.

"We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles - anything that gives a glimpse into someone else's life. Anything goes..."
4/29/2006 08:51:00 AM :: 0 comments ::

Jill :: permalink


Car conversations

Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Sometimes, the most intense conversations with my girl take place in the car. This morning, before we left for school, she was digging around in my jewelry box. She found a watch left to me by my Aunt Mill, and asked about it. I explained that Aunt Mill wanted me to have it after she died, and we needed to be very careful with it, but that she was welcome to look at it. She felt it and looked at it and put it back.

Then later, in the car, she seemed a bit upset. She asked me if someone killed the person who left me the watch. I don't know where that came from, but I explained that Aunt Mill had lived a long, mostly happy life, and had died because she was so old.

A few minutes later, she got even more upset. This was odd, because she doesn't really remember Aunt Mill, which is sad to me. I talked to her a bit, and she said that it reminded her that Jetter had died (aka Jet, our much-loved cat who died in December). Then she asked me if I was going to die, or Daddy.

I'm thinking, "Crap. I really need more coffee for this kind of conversation early in the morning."

But it gets better. She asked me if Jetter and Aunt Mill were with God, because that's what happens to you when you die. And I quote: "For reals." Because then, when I die, I could be with them again. Which is a tempting thought, but I didn't really want to sell that to her. And I really don't know where that one came from either, because she didn't get that from us.

Honestly, now I'm thinking double espresso more than coffee. Or perhaps tequila shooters.

See, in our house, there's not a lot of talk about God or heaven or religion, being the heathens that we are. Mark and I haven't much talked about how to deal with these issues with Lauren and Sam later, but I wanted to be honest with her about my own feelings without crushing her little soul for the day or sending her directly into therapy. I punted with some talk about that's what some people believe, and some people believe in reincarnation, and some people believe this life is all we get and we should make the most of it. I was utterly unprepared for this depth of conversation, shall we say.

Plus, you know, she's 5. Tough topics have to be addressed directly and honestly, but at her level. You try it. Go on, just think about what you'd say to explain death, heaven, and religion to a 5 year old.

I kind of think that the concept of heaven and all that is a nice comfort when you lose someone you love, if you believe it's true. I'm not sure what I believe, but I'm thinking I need to figure that out right quick, considering the questions that are coming up now. I lean toward the third option of this is all we get, so have fun and do good, but really, who wants to find out for themselves? Not me, not anytime soon.

Damn, this parenting stuff is hard.



Speaking of people you love and loss (nice segue, don't you think?). I'm having a bit of a time dealing with something else, and really, what the hell are blogs for except to purge your thoughts in semi-public? Take a deep breath and sit down if you know some of my particular history. Especially if you know Scotty.

My ex has been diagnosed with cancer. Prognosis is up in the air at the moment - he has another doctor's appointment with a cardiothoracic surgeon tomorrow. He was having shortness of breath and pain in his ribs, and they found that his right lung was compressed. They drained 3 liters of fluid from the pleural area, which is between your lungs and rib cage, and found malignant cells. But they haven't been able to locate any tumors, just some small spots in the pleural wall. The surgeon is supposed to tell him whether any surgery could be helpful, and then probably chemo will start pretty soon.

My ex is a very dear friend, even though we haven't seen much of him in the last few years. He turns 40 tomorrow. Or, as he would say, 39 +1. His spirits are pretty good, all things considered. He's varying between fighting spirit and fatalism. I prefer the former. Cross your fingers, send some mojo, pray if that's your thing, would you please? Thanks.
4/25/2006 10:18:00 PM :: 4 comments ::

Jill :: permalink


Some good news

This article makes me feel much better about the condition of my house. Hey, my kids are less likely to have asthma and allergies! It's not working so far, though. Sam was at the doctor yesterday afternoon and is home today. Seasonal allergies and pinkeye. Zyrtec and Vigamox drops. Joy, joy. Mark is home with him today, and hopefully he'll be able to go back to day care tomorrow. His eyes were actually clear this morning, so that's good.
4/25/2006 10:49:00 AM :: 2 comments ::

Jill :: permalink


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Friday, April 21, 2006

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Originally uploaded by jtdarby.

4/21/2006 07:11:00 PM :: 0 comments ::

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Life has its ups and downs

Tuesday, April 18, 2006
So the bad first. Rough day at work. I've been working on a big project for the last several months, we're at total crunch time, and the wheels have just about come off entirely. "Just about"?, she says. No. Totally, fricking, entirely. Wheels off. Hubcaps strewn about. Messy. There was nothing I could do to prevent it, and I'm not being blamed in any way. But I can barely tolerate being involved with and responsible for a failing project. That really bugs me. Usually, if I work hard enough, I can pull things off. But no matter how hard I work, I just can't fix this. I can only make the best of a bad situation. Don't like that.

For the good. Sam had his 6 month well child check yesterday, and got his immunizations. He did great with the shots, just cried a little with the prevnar. I don't blame him - that one stings! He was 18 pounds 6 ounces, and 26 1/4 inches long. He's a brute, that one. No wonder my arms are so tired! And he's just so very sweet and a cuddly little guy. Mark had something to do in Lexington last night, so it was just me with the kids, and poor Sam was so fussy. In addition to the shots and that soreness, his first tooth broke through his gum yesterday. Poor little fella. But he's tough - he was his normal happy self today.

Mark is out with his friends tonight, and I'm just chilling out at home, trying to forget about work stress and relax. The kids are in bed, and I'm having a nice glass of gewurz, watching food network.

And blogging. But now I'm done with that too, and I'm going back to vegging. And get this - tomorrow is our anniversary. It's really hard to believe we've been married for 9 years now. Time flies and all that. I am a very lucky woman, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Except maybe this work project. That I might change, just a little. Home life? It's golden.
4/18/2006 09:50:00 PM :: 2 comments ::

Jill :: permalink


That'll learn me!

Monday, April 17, 2006
I used to make fun of girls who would hardly move about for fear of breaking a nail. Of course, I didn't have pretty nails until just a few years ago - reformed biter here. But now I understand some of that. Yesterday, we were at my folks' house for Easter egg hunting. My sister-in-law and I were getting some drinks for the kids, and the apple juice started to fall from the shelf of the fridge. Clumsy me. In grabbing it before it hit the ground, I managed to break one of my nails way down deep. It bled like a mother, and hurts like you wouldn't believe. Typing is an adventure. I reserve the right to whine about this for the next several days, because it really does hurt. I still won't turn into one of those chicks, though.
4/17/2006 09:04:00 AM :: 0 comments ::

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Saturday, April 15, 2006

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Originally uploaded by jtdarby.

4/15/2006 01:16:00 PM :: 0 comments ::

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Happy Saturday

It's just after 7:00 am, and I'm in the office. I have my e-mail open, and one of my partners on this project was working on this stuff and e-mailing me at 5:21 this morning. Does that tell you anything, anything at all, about my work at the moment? I just need to get through the next couple of weeks, and it should settle down. Right?
4/15/2006 07:09:00 AM :: 1 comments ::

Jill :: permalink


Celebrations

Thursday, April 13, 2006
Reason to celebrate: Sam is 6 months old today! I can hardly believe that. It seems like he was just born. Of course, to me, it seems like Lauren was just born too, so there you go. I'm clearly no judge of this sort of thing. Poor Sam is sick, though. He got kicked out of day care yesterday - already a troublemaker, this one! No, really, they sent him home because of a fever. Mark has been home with sick, cranky boy, and is probably about ready to go insane. My folks are there now, taking care of Sam while Mark gets some chores and errands done. Me, I think Sam's FINALLY cutting that tooth that's been visible for a few months. Lauren always spiked a fever and got cold symptoms when she cut a tooth, so it seems reasonable that he would too. I am running on far too few hours of sleep at the moment. Poor little Sam was just so unhappy and uncomfortable last night. He was just burning hot at about 2:30 or so. He's better today, though, so that's good. Speaking of Lauren, she and I had great fun the other night decorating a pink pair of canvas tennies with glow-in-the-dark fabric paint and sequins, with some pretty ribbon as shoelaces. She worked very hard on them, and was quite proud of how they turned out. And they were too cute! Alas, her feet have grown much more than I expected, and the shoes were too tight. I've been to every place in this crappy little town that carries kid shoes, and can't find any in her new size. I guess we'll have to go to Lex to pick some up. Wish us luck with that! My work is just nuts, long story. It's just a crazy time right now, so little time to blog. Little time to do much of anything except work, chores, play with the kids, and sleep. In fact, must dash now.
4/13/2006 03:06:00 PM :: 1 comments ::

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

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Originally uploaded by jtdarby.

4/11/2006 05:43:00 PM :: 0 comments ::

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Originally uploaded by jtdarby.

4/11/2006 05:34:00 PM :: 0 comments ::

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Sunday, April 09, 2006

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Originally uploaded by jtdarby.

4/09/2006 02:14:00 PM :: 0 comments ::

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Originally uploaded by jtdarby.

4/09/2006 01:14:00 PM :: 0 comments ::

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Laughing Sam

Saturday, April 08, 2006
4/08/2006 06:09:00 PM :: 2 comments ::

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Friday, April 07, 2006

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Originally uploaded by jtdarby.

4/07/2006 07:35:00 PM :: 0 comments ::

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Well said

Thursday, April 06, 2006
"When I have a problem that concerns one of my kids (meaning: When I want them to do something that they refuse to do), I see that I have a choice. I could visualize my child standing on the other side of a line, next to "The Problem", with me yelling across the line, "Hey, you better solve "The Problem". Instead, I get myself to stand next to my child, with "The Problem" alone on the other side of the line, with me putting an arm around my child, saying "Hey, you and me, we're gonna defeat "The Problem" together." I find that this attitude seems to make my kids feel better about themselves. It minimizes/eliminates shame."

Via ParentHacks, of course. I really need to remember this sometimes with Lauren. Because, you know, she's just 5. We tend to forget that sometimes, because she's such a smart little thing. And since Sam was born, she seems like such a big kid now. But she's not. She's just 5.
4/06/2006 03:22:00 PM :: 2 comments ::

Jill :: permalink


If I flew a lot . . .

This is such an awesome idea I can't stand it. It almost makes me want to fly somewhere with the kiddos. (The page took a while to load for me, though, so fair warning)
4/06/2006 01:17:00 PM :: 0 comments ::

Jill :: permalink


Oh. My. God.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006
As if I have this kind of time. Gracious goodness me. Obsessive-compulsive disorder, anyone? Via ParentHacks.

Also, this? Totally cool. You can import your Amazon wishlist, but it seems to have only pulled over part of my amazon list. Hmmm. Must play with this more later. Via TechCrunch.
4/04/2006 10:48:00 AM :: 1 comments ::

Jill :: permalink


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Saturday, April 01, 2006

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Originally uploaded by jtdarby.

4/01/2006 03:44:00 PM :: 2 comments ::

Jill :: permalink


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Originally uploaded by jtdarby.

4/01/2006 03:43:00 PM :: 0 comments ::

Jill :: permalink